Finding my wings... Again....

Do you like analogies? I do. Sometimes. Makes me understand things easier. So I will give you an analogy today with my oh-so-late blog posting that seems to be as if I just posted it yesterday. I'm sorry for not posting like I use to. I made a vow to myself that I would start blogging more. But I haven't. It's not because I've been busy. But I have been busy. It's not because I haven't been on my computer. Because I have. Been on my computer that is...but, the truth is, I haven't been feeling like myself.... I have said before that blogs should be used as therapies. They are great for that. They feel like an on-line diarrhea diary session. Just get everything out. Off your chest and through your fingertips onto the computer keyboard and with one push of the button everyone has the opportunity to read what's heavy on your heart and mind. (If that is, they stumble upon your blog, and I don't think that's an issue in my case. :) Back to what I was getting at. I haven't felt like blogging. Honestly, I haven't felt like me at all. My life is going fine, I have many blessings I'm thankful for but it's hard for me to explain what's going on with me right now.

So here's where my analogy comes into play. It's almost like for so long I was this little worm. I was use to being a worm. Then I left a situation that left me down in the dirt for so long. I started making my home (spinning my cocoon) for my career and setting up this new home and life for myself.

Metamorphasis. I changed. I had grown these beautiful wings and was having a great time using them. I felt beautiful again. Free. I enjoyed all the things that I feel I had missed out on so long. I did feel like a beautiful butterfly... Then I smacked into a car windshield.. >.<

I have hit a lull. Some days I feel like I have to fight myself from transforming BACK into that worm. Self-doubt, uncertainty, sensitivity. Attacks on myself, not from others, but myself. My own worst enemy seems to be: Me. Myself, and I.

So my new resolution? Finding my wings again. Reminding myself that I am a beautiful woman of God. The one he intended for me to be. Love those around me like they should be loved. Leave the past in the past. Dream about tomorrow. Hope for the future, but be happy with right now. When I look in the mirror, remember to see past what's at the surface. When I look at my "home", be proud I have spun my cocoon into a happy enviroment for myself.