8.3oam, 28th September 2009
Sunny, Dubai
I finally experienced an extremely awful moment that I've ever had.. Sunday, before leaving London at 8.4opm.. I took a tube back to the hostel early in the morning, the weather was extremely cold and breezy. It was the worst day I ever had this year. When we're parting, we started to realized how much they mean to us. The tears say it all. It is an emotion that no one can control and you can't hide them no matter how hard you try. It is not that we will not see each other anymore but things do change when as time goes by. I am the kind of person who is afraid to lose the good feeling that I have for friends. For the past 6 months, I have very close mates in the hostel and classmates in school, much more like your own family members.
28 September, 2009
15 September, 2009
My 25th birthday was full with surprises...
3.50am, London
Rainy, Autumn
On Monday morning, I woke up to my inbox overflowing with messages wishing me a happy birthday, those wishes were also on IMs all day keeping me company, via my Facebook wall and text messages. It was an awesome social media birthday! I’m privileged to have such awesomely-terrific friends! Another year, another birthday. To those who have planned so hard on how to make my birthday joyful and meaningful, thank you for the effort and time. I am officially 25 now. But I guess we all start losing count after 21, don't we? =) Thank you for all those beautiful well-wishes. My 25th birthday was wonderful. It was memorable. I loved every minute. All these year, I've made countless wishes for myself but this year is an exception.
As I mentioned the last post, I did made a few wishes before blowing the candles. And, the elderly says never cut the cake to the bottom as it will cut off the wishes that you just made. So, I just cut first half an inch.. =)
I did not get to say it to you as time doesn't allow me to do so. Here am I sharing the wishes with the ones that I cherish..
First wish,
For myself, I wish to gain back my inner faith, hope and dreams and I am ready to let go.
Second Wish,
To Verica, I wished that you'll have a better health, smooth journey from now on and all the best in your studies. Thanks for being a lovely room mate and now, more like sisters. You can read me very well without me saying a single word. Though we have a total opposite character but we manage to live together for 5 and a half months. Sorry to make you worry about me all this time and thanks for lending me an ear whenever I need a listener. Each of your hugs and kisses means a lot to me.
Third Wish,
To Bee, I wished that you'll find your own path very soon, no more struggling with your inner self. I know you did put a lot of effort on me just to see me being a happy girl that enjoy every moment now and then. I know you want the best for me as a friend or even as a sister. You are always there to dry my tears, you are always ready to listen to all my problems without giving a single comment because you know me very well. Thanks for all the time and attention spent on me.
And Lastly,
To “You”, I wished you all the best in your career and exams, do have faith in yourself and be happy always. May you find the perfect fit one day. I do cherish every moment that I had with you and I will only bring the good ones back with me, leaving the rest here. No matter what is going to happen, I am always here for you to lean on whenever you need to take a break and rest for a second, I'll be your listener to all your troubles and worries.
It's not how long we know each other, it's the things and the experiences that we've been through together matters most.... I treasure..
Thanks for planning so hard just to make my 25th birthday a special one. I could not ask for more now simply because having you guys as friends is more than I deserve.
(Whispering)"Pssssp, Nanny, can you hear me? Make my wishes come true..."
Rainy, Autumn
On Monday morning, I woke up to my inbox overflowing with messages wishing me a happy birthday, those wishes were also on IMs all day keeping me company, via my Facebook wall and text messages. It was an awesome social media birthday! I’m privileged to have such awesomely-terrific friends! Another year, another birthday. To those who have planned so hard on how to make my birthday joyful and meaningful, thank you for the effort and time. I am officially 25 now. But I guess we all start losing count after 21, don't we? =) Thank you for all those beautiful well-wishes. My 25th birthday was wonderful. It was memorable. I loved every minute. All these year, I've made countless wishes for myself but this year is an exception.
As I mentioned the last post, I did made a few wishes before blowing the candles. And, the elderly says never cut the cake to the bottom as it will cut off the wishes that you just made. So, I just cut first half an inch.. =)
I did not get to say it to you as time doesn't allow me to do so. Here am I sharing the wishes with the ones that I cherish..
First wish,
For myself, I wish to gain back my inner faith, hope and dreams and I am ready to let go.
Second Wish,
To Verica, I wished that you'll have a better health, smooth journey from now on and all the best in your studies. Thanks for being a lovely room mate and now, more like sisters. You can read me very well without me saying a single word. Though we have a total opposite character but we manage to live together for 5 and a half months. Sorry to make you worry about me all this time and thanks for lending me an ear whenever I need a listener. Each of your hugs and kisses means a lot to me.
Third Wish,
To Bee, I wished that you'll find your own path very soon, no more struggling with your inner self. I know you did put a lot of effort on me just to see me being a happy girl that enjoy every moment now and then. I know you want the best for me as a friend or even as a sister. You are always there to dry my tears, you are always ready to listen to all my problems without giving a single comment because you know me very well. Thanks for all the time and attention spent on me.
And Lastly,
To “You”, I wished you all the best in your career and exams, do have faith in yourself and be happy always. May you find the perfect fit one day. I do cherish every moment that I had with you and I will only bring the good ones back with me, leaving the rest here. No matter what is going to happen, I am always here for you to lean on whenever you need to take a break and rest for a second, I'll be your listener to all your troubles and worries.
It's not how long we know each other, it's the things and the experiences that we've been through together matters most.... I treasure..
Thanks for planning so hard just to make my 25th birthday a special one. I could not ask for more now simply because having you guys as friends is more than I deserve.
(Whispering)"Pssssp, Nanny, can you hear me? Make my wishes come true..."
14 September, 2009
Allow me to make more wishes this year...for my loved ones..
1.33am, 14th September 2oo9
Cold night, London
I remember when I was young, I used to celebrate my birthday with my family, relatives and close friends, wonderful dinner and beautiful bespoke cake. Since 3 years back, I never have time for my birthday, my family thought that I would celebrate my birthday with friends. Last year, I was on a work trip alone on my birthday. Kris was in town with Elsie and we decided to meet up and we celebrated my birthday in a Italian restaurant. I still remember that day wasn't a good moment for me due to the problems that I had in work and health issues that was bugging me all the time. A lot has changed in the past year or so, for better and worse. Change has touched every aspect of my life, from family and friends, to where I live and work. It’s been a year of loss, anger, sadness, fear and pain. Sometimes a lot of bad things happen at once. There will be times when we feel like the whole world is against us, and things can’t possibly get any worse…and then they will. But, the thing is, there’s always someone, somewhere, who is worse off than we are, as hard as that may be to believe. Putting things in perspective is incredibly powerful. All of this change has caused me to change as well. I’ve learned that we have two choices when it comes to facing life’s obstacles: let them defeat you, or take the opportunity to learn and grow. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, the most difficult experiences of the past year have taught me a lot about myself and made me appreciate all that I have.
This year is no exception, I have too many losses this year. I'm afraid that I couldn't take this any longer. I tried not to upset the people around me especially my room mate, Verica and a good friend that I have made in the hostel, Bee. They have been planning so much how to make my birthday special and meaningful to me since 3 weeks ago, trying to create surpises and secretly plan some itinerary but I do know exactly what they're trying to do for me. I know they want the best for me, wanting me to enjoy my remaining stays here as much as possible, leaving London only with good memories and no tears. It's hard for me to put up a mask some times that I would just stay in my room and wish that I do not have to talk to anyone.
I realized that life is a precious gift. It is beautiful and fulfilling, frustrating and exciting, but it is also unpredictable. So, make every moment count, and don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Stop making excuses. Say things like ‘thank you,’ ‘I love you,’ ‘I appreciate your hard work,’ and ‘You mean so much to me.’
When I close my eyes and prepare to blow out the candles on my birthday cake, I won’t just be making a wish. I’ll be taking a moment to appreciate my life, and all of the wonderful, beautiful, people and things that make it all worthwhile.
Dear Bee and Verica,
Thanks for time spent and the trouble of celebrating my birthday with me. Love you guys always. Don't cry now, more to come...
"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Alexander Chalmers
Nanny, it's my birthday today... I hope you would be able to hear my wishes..
Cold night, London
I remember when I was young, I used to celebrate my birthday with my family, relatives and close friends, wonderful dinner and beautiful bespoke cake. Since 3 years back, I never have time for my birthday, my family thought that I would celebrate my birthday with friends. Last year, I was on a work trip alone on my birthday. Kris was in town with Elsie and we decided to meet up and we celebrated my birthday in a Italian restaurant. I still remember that day wasn't a good moment for me due to the problems that I had in work and health issues that was bugging me all the time. A lot has changed in the past year or so, for better and worse. Change has touched every aspect of my life, from family and friends, to where I live and work. It’s been a year of loss, anger, sadness, fear and pain. Sometimes a lot of bad things happen at once. There will be times when we feel like the whole world is against us, and things can’t possibly get any worse…and then they will. But, the thing is, there’s always someone, somewhere, who is worse off than we are, as hard as that may be to believe. Putting things in perspective is incredibly powerful. All of this change has caused me to change as well. I’ve learned that we have two choices when it comes to facing life’s obstacles: let them defeat you, or take the opportunity to learn and grow. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, the most difficult experiences of the past year have taught me a lot about myself and made me appreciate all that I have.
This year is no exception, I have too many losses this year. I'm afraid that I couldn't take this any longer. I tried not to upset the people around me especially my room mate, Verica and a good friend that I have made in the hostel, Bee. They have been planning so much how to make my birthday special and meaningful to me since 3 weeks ago, trying to create surpises and secretly plan some itinerary but I do know exactly what they're trying to do for me. I know they want the best for me, wanting me to enjoy my remaining stays here as much as possible, leaving London only with good memories and no tears. It's hard for me to put up a mask some times that I would just stay in my room and wish that I do not have to talk to anyone.
I realized that life is a precious gift. It is beautiful and fulfilling, frustrating and exciting, but it is also unpredictable. So, make every moment count, and don’t take anything or anyone for granted. Stop making excuses. Say things like ‘thank you,’ ‘I love you,’ ‘I appreciate your hard work,’ and ‘You mean so much to me.’
When I close my eyes and prepare to blow out the candles on my birthday cake, I won’t just be making a wish. I’ll be taking a moment to appreciate my life, and all of the wonderful, beautiful, people and things that make it all worthwhile.
Dear Bee and Verica,
Thanks for time spent and the trouble of celebrating my birthday with me. Love you guys always. Don't cry now, more to come...
"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Alexander Chalmers
Nanny, it's my birthday today... I hope you would be able to hear my wishes..
10 September, 2009
Smile... For Me..
You roar at me, I look at you
You climb in bed, I held your hand
You smile at me, I kiss your hand
You fall asleep, the night has peaked
Glance around... Don't make a sound
Laugh away, these crazy days
Please don't frown, I don't want you down
Hold you tight, when your full of fright
Never out of sight, you're my light
See you walking, laughing and talking
Didn't think it's real, life can make things a wonderful meal
Sometimes things seem so wrong, but that doesn't last long
Just give me a hug, I'll give your hand a tug
Its cute when you pout, you put a plane in my coat
Made my day, please don't go away
I'll always be here, just take a peer
Here in my hood, feeling pretty good
When your feeling dim, just find me
I hope I can make you grin....
“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”
08 September, 2009
True Friends...
5.1opm, 7th of September, 2oo9
Cloudy and calm day, London
We have all had a friend who turned out to “not” be a friend due to their own personal gain. Right? I know I have. One friendship comes to mind when I think about self-serving friends. It’s still rather fresh to me so I know it well and remember it even better.
I am always very open to making new friends. I find new friendships to be interesting like all new relationships. I know that and I am comforted in that. But we all get wrapped up in the “newness” of the start of a friendship. I have seen the transition from smiles and laughter to cursing and evil looks. I just realized that an opportunistic friend can turn into a foe overnight. I once have a friend, we laughed a lot finding common ground with our quirkiness. We did become good friends fast. Within a year, I had invested a lot of time and emotion as a friend to her. I listened to all of her problems until I could recite them all frontwards and backwards. She had moodswings and she always had self absorbed moments….many... And, she is always there for me whenever I need her. But things happened recently and from here, I can see clearly how friendship form and gone in just a minute. What a shame it is…. but it’s true. I have learned a valuable lesson through this all, which is, never to take your friends for granted, and NEVER dump a true friend just to get ahead at something. It is just no worth it. It’s certainly an eye opener about what is truly important in life. We are all different and that is okay.
In these 5 months here in London, a very precious experience crossed my life. It's called true friends.. The people who listen to my problems without casting judgement, never afraid to tell you like it is. They know when to say no, they never flop me. They are very supportive of all I do. They are always there to dry my weeping eyes. We argue, fuss and fight but they're always be there for me. They forgive for your shortcomings, they come to your aid no matter what time of day it is. They know enough is enough. A true friend will be by your side when you need them the most! They don't know my past but they believe me with their instinct and heart!
I never expect myself to have close friends like this in just 5 months, we're like sisters now..!
And of course, I know there are people who I treasure back in Malaysia, ready to greet me with smile and appointments set to meet up. I'm happy to hear all the influencing words from far, encouragement with no doubt and the most important thing, the trust that they still have in me...
Love you guys!
Cloudy and calm day, London
We have all had a friend who turned out to “not” be a friend due to their own personal gain. Right? I know I have. One friendship comes to mind when I think about self-serving friends. It’s still rather fresh to me so I know it well and remember it even better.
I am always very open to making new friends. I find new friendships to be interesting like all new relationships. I know that and I am comforted in that. But we all get wrapped up in the “newness” of the start of a friendship. I have seen the transition from smiles and laughter to cursing and evil looks. I just realized that an opportunistic friend can turn into a foe overnight. I once have a friend, we laughed a lot finding common ground with our quirkiness. We did become good friends fast. Within a year, I had invested a lot of time and emotion as a friend to her. I listened to all of her problems until I could recite them all frontwards and backwards. She had moodswings and she always had self absorbed moments….many... And, she is always there for me whenever I need her. But things happened recently and from here, I can see clearly how friendship form and gone in just a minute. What a shame it is…. but it’s true. I have learned a valuable lesson through this all, which is, never to take your friends for granted, and NEVER dump a true friend just to get ahead at something. It is just no worth it. It’s certainly an eye opener about what is truly important in life. We are all different and that is okay.
In these 5 months here in London, a very precious experience crossed my life. It's called true friends.. The people who listen to my problems without casting judgement, never afraid to tell you like it is. They know when to say no, they never flop me. They are very supportive of all I do. They are always there to dry my weeping eyes. We argue, fuss and fight but they're always be there for me. They forgive for your shortcomings, they come to your aid no matter what time of day it is. They know enough is enough. A true friend will be by your side when you need them the most! They don't know my past but they believe me with their instinct and heart!
I never expect myself to have close friends like this in just 5 months, we're like sisters now..!
And of course, I know there are people who I treasure back in Malaysia, ready to greet me with smile and appointments set to meet up. I'm happy to hear all the influencing words from far, encouragement with no doubt and the most important thing, the trust that they still have in me...
Love you guys!
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