26th August 2oo9,
3.10am, breezy night, London
Me and Verica posted this quote today. It's from Dolly Parton...
I've finally did what needs to be done, clear the things that needs to be cleared. Clean my heart once again, every decision that needs to be made hurt me so much. Insomnia and pain attack revisit. I took the instant solution as usual. Here comes the storms....
One thing is always consistent during my storm troubles... I really look forward to the rainbow. I hold on for the headache to go, the sun to come out and the little extra energy to show up after being so exhausted the previous days. I begin to feel like I'm starting over, starting fresh... like I've been granted a reprieve from something worse than my normal self, which suddenly makes the normal not seem so bad.
Do me a favor and remind yourself of this the next time you have to go through a rainy season: There's nowhere to go but through it. Whether that means you have to white knuckle it or maybe be cuddled a little on your way through, I promise if you keep plugging away to the other side the sun will come out and the blessing will be there. God promised you the rainbow. And He promised to be right there with you in the center of the storm. All you have to do is put up with the rain. I'm not a religious person but I did tried my best to put myself up together once again. He decide the rest.........
I don't know how to write this post. This is going to come out all awkward and jumpy. I guess my writing takes after me?
So yesterday there was one of those moments where all you really need is someone to listen to you spaz or someone to talk to you about anything before you absolutely lose it.
I was pretty much having my breakdown and thinking that I should just shut myself and cry in bed. I didn't want to send out SOS via text.
But within 20 seconds, there was a knock on my door, and there she was , Bee, waiting to hear about my problem. And later, my roommate Verica, whom I treat much like a sister now, here ready to listen to my spazzing. I felt much better after. Much....
And you know what? I can't believe I'm so lucky to have friends like you. So thank you dearestt. I love you guys..... :)
I'm lucky to have YOU too...
24 August, 2009
Eeyore or.... Tigger!!!!
24th, August 2oo9, Summer
4.18pm, London, Sunny day
Few months back, I was recommended by a friend to watch a clip titled Achieving Your Childhood's Dream, the last lecture by Randy Pausch. Why is this worth watching? Watch it. I think you will come away from it with some good advice that will impact your business and personal life. This is what I get out of it:
1. Getting good things, achieving dreams requires HARD WORK. A successful company isn’t successful just because it sells a great new idea. It is successful because PEOPLE made it that. People worked hard and poured their blood, sweat, and tears into.
2. Your attitude makes all the difference. Do you choose to be a Tigger or an Eeyore? A Tigger is curious, optimistic, energetic, and have fun. These traits will always help you get ahead.
3. People are ALWAYS more important than things. A company that treats people like things, a company that doesn’t put it’s people first, is a company that will have problems. Its a lot easier to be successful if you have good people behind you. The way to get good people behind you is to treat them like good people.
4. When you do something wrong apologize and figure out how to fix it. I find if I own up to my mistakes quickly, and ask for an apology I get much more help to make things right.
So, you wanna be an EeyOre Or TiGgErrRRr!!!
I would love to be an Eeyore sometimes.. depends on the situation, I'm a girl after all... =P
Check out Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
Good day! =)
4.18pm, London, Sunny day
Few months back, I was recommended by a friend to watch a clip titled Achieving Your Childhood's Dream, the last lecture by Randy Pausch. Why is this worth watching? Watch it. I think you will come away from it with some good advice that will impact your business and personal life. This is what I get out of it:
1. Getting good things, achieving dreams requires HARD WORK. A successful company isn’t successful just because it sells a great new idea. It is successful because PEOPLE made it that. People worked hard and poured their blood, sweat, and tears into.
2. Your attitude makes all the difference. Do you choose to be a Tigger or an Eeyore? A Tigger is curious, optimistic, energetic, and have fun. These traits will always help you get ahead.
3. People are ALWAYS more important than things. A company that treats people like things, a company that doesn’t put it’s people first, is a company that will have problems. Its a lot easier to be successful if you have good people behind you. The way to get good people behind you is to treat them like good people.
4. When you do something wrong apologize and figure out how to fix it. I find if I own up to my mistakes quickly, and ask for an apology I get much more help to make things right.
So, you wanna be an EeyOre Or TiGgErrRRr!!!
I would love to be an Eeyore sometimes.. depends on the situation, I'm a girl after all... =P
Check out Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
Good day! =)
24 July, 2009
I'm a giver, always a giver..
2.51am, 24th July 2oo9
London, Rainy day
I am an ultimate giver, and I like it that way. I'd rather be known as a person who gives than one who takes. A few of the people in my life are takers, and that way of life seems to work for them. Yes, life gets lopsided from time to time. My feelings get hurt when I am slighted, or forgotten, but to me, giving feels better than receiving.
What I have learned of takers, is the more a giver gives, the more a taker expects. Where two givers bend over backwards for each other, two takers enter the boxing arena daily.
Do I seem a tad bitter from my decades of giving? Well it's only a moment of estrogen infusion, I'll be back to my giving self within a minute or two of writing this post. After all, I said I was a giver not a blatant fool.
So where as givers enjoy giving, I must wonder does a taker enjoy taking? Of course.
For me I rather be a giver, because it makes me feel good, disappointments and all. Perhaps I have my moments with self esteem. Don't we all? When I'm giving, I'm not overcompensating or attempting to win someone over. I just like giving plain and simple. Personality labels are sewn on from childhood with threads too thick to break. A giver versus a taker in life's arena generally end up on a one-way street to married to each other. Now there's a road this giver rather not take.
I am easily happy for people who finally achieved what they need to achieve, what they have been craving for. That is because I believe that it is very important to get what you want out of life. To be able to achieve your dream.
I was once in the position, I was once fighting for what I wanted in life, my dream career. I've been through the thick and thin. Stop asking me why am I doing all these... It's not a big favor from me but I hope they do help you a bit..
I'm happy for you... Now, your real world has begin!
Are you the Giver?
The Givers- They are people who give from their hearts without thinking of him or herself or what they will have to give up or what they will do without because of others. They expect nothing in return. Not a thank you or a pat on the back not a good job or endless praise for what they have done.
They give without string without malice without thinking of what is in it for me. They simply fade into the shadows of our life and we don't even know they are there until we need something. Then they are always the first person we call. Without realizing it, we have taken advice or money or emotions from them and then we are on our merry way until the next crises. Their wells overflow with love and joy and are easily accepted at all gathers. They walk through the door with a smile that radiates love and warmth. They attract people like magnets because there cup overflows and everyone wants to touch the love that feels so close to heaven. They are always so positive and upbeat they can change the atmosphere in room instantly. Hardly ever does a bad word escape their lips without instant regret for injury they have cause another. When they leave, you feel happy and joyous of their visit and it may linger for a time if it's not stomped out by the takers. They have changed people's life for the better and then are blessed for being a true child of God...
London, Rainy day
I am an ultimate giver, and I like it that way. I'd rather be known as a person who gives than one who takes. A few of the people in my life are takers, and that way of life seems to work for them. Yes, life gets lopsided from time to time. My feelings get hurt when I am slighted, or forgotten, but to me, giving feels better than receiving.
What I have learned of takers, is the more a giver gives, the more a taker expects. Where two givers bend over backwards for each other, two takers enter the boxing arena daily.
Do I seem a tad bitter from my decades of giving? Well it's only a moment of estrogen infusion, I'll be back to my giving self within a minute or two of writing this post. After all, I said I was a giver not a blatant fool.
So where as givers enjoy giving, I must wonder does a taker enjoy taking? Of course.
For me I rather be a giver, because it makes me feel good, disappointments and all. Perhaps I have my moments with self esteem. Don't we all? When I'm giving, I'm not overcompensating or attempting to win someone over. I just like giving plain and simple. Personality labels are sewn on from childhood with threads too thick to break. A giver versus a taker in life's arena generally end up on a one-way street to married to each other. Now there's a road this giver rather not take.
I am easily happy for people who finally achieved what they need to achieve, what they have been craving for. That is because I believe that it is very important to get what you want out of life. To be able to achieve your dream.
I was once in the position, I was once fighting for what I wanted in life, my dream career. I've been through the thick and thin. Stop asking me why am I doing all these... It's not a big favor from me but I hope they do help you a bit..
I'm happy for you... Now, your real world has begin!
Are you the Giver?
The Givers- They are people who give from their hearts without thinking of him or herself or what they will have to give up or what they will do without because of others. They expect nothing in return. Not a thank you or a pat on the back not a good job or endless praise for what they have done.
They give without string without malice without thinking of what is in it for me. They simply fade into the shadows of our life and we don't even know they are there until we need something. Then they are always the first person we call. Without realizing it, we have taken advice or money or emotions from them and then we are on our merry way until the next crises. Their wells overflow with love and joy and are easily accepted at all gathers. They walk through the door with a smile that radiates love and warmth. They attract people like magnets because there cup overflows and everyone wants to touch the love that feels so close to heaven. They are always so positive and upbeat they can change the atmosphere in room instantly. Hardly ever does a bad word escape their lips without instant regret for injury they have cause another. When they leave, you feel happy and joyous of their visit and it may linger for a time if it's not stomped out by the takers. They have changed people's life for the better and then are blessed for being a true child of God...
22 July, 2009
27th June 2009, a miserable day in London...
11.41pm, 21st July 2oo9,
London, Rainy day.
The day when I felt a lil bit of weirdness in my mind, body and heart. Was it because my exams' coming soon? Or is it because of the confession that I have heard? I know I was touched by the words. I just can't resist but to fall in love more and more each day. From day one, I know this relationship is not going anywhere and it will not lead to any good ending.
To be honest, the first two weeks wasn't cool for me. I'm not the kinda person who pushes everything really hard. I hate pressures and tension. I assumed no one likes to be pressured anyway. I was living low and feeling small even now, This is how I was brought up, being taught by three beautiful ladies around me,
My mum, a tough woman who fixes everything herself without anyone's help. She would not say a single word or show any sign even she's in deep pain.
My godmum, she's the lady with full of classy and elegant lifestyle. She's much more like a sister to me. I stay with my godparents on and off now and then.
And my beloved nanny, a peaceful, warm and graceful woman. I have mentioned about her in my second post.
** I guess I just have to remind myself again and again every single day not to be drowned by this..
Pluuff.... Just because of my stupidity, I deserve the pain.. Time heals..
Love ya, nanny! Day 185
London, Rainy day.
The day when I felt a lil bit of weirdness in my mind, body and heart. Was it because my exams' coming soon? Or is it because of the confession that I have heard? I know I was touched by the words. I just can't resist but to fall in love more and more each day. From day one, I know this relationship is not going anywhere and it will not lead to any good ending.
To be honest, the first two weeks wasn't cool for me. I'm not the kinda person who pushes everything really hard. I hate pressures and tension. I assumed no one likes to be pressured anyway. I was living low and feeling small even now, This is how I was brought up, being taught by three beautiful ladies around me,
My mum, a tough woman who fixes everything herself without anyone's help. She would not say a single word or show any sign even she's in deep pain.
My godmum, she's the lady with full of classy and elegant lifestyle. She's much more like a sister to me. I stay with my godparents on and off now and then.
And my beloved nanny, a peaceful, warm and graceful woman. I have mentioned about her in my second post.
** I guess I just have to remind myself again and again every single day not to be drowned by this..
Pluuff.... Just because of my stupidity, I deserve the pain.. Time heals..
Love ya, nanny! Day 185
28 January, 2009
Rest In Peace Nanny..... (1945 - Jan.18th.2009)
It has been 11 days now since I have last see you. I miss you Nanny.. the days are different and sometimes long without you. Thankfully. the warmth and the love that has supported us, mothered us, directed us and reassured us did not come from your body. I know that it came from your soul. Because I still feel it. I can still hear it in your voice that comes to me telling me, " Mei, everything is going to be all right," and just as in life, I have to believe you nanny, because you were always right in life.
I would like to tell you little bit about my relationship with my nanny whom I loved more than anyone on this Earth. But first of all, her physical beauty. She was a true lady and carried herself with grace. Her sweet smile and gentle touch is the memory that I have imbedded in my mind. She was always there for me when I needed her. I used to run to her and sleepover at her place when I had a fight with my parents or I'm sad. She was my best listener and I used to call her Mama when I was really young. I still remember dad said that I have to get good grades in order to stay over at Nanny's place during school break. I cried every time I have to leave her house and get back to school even though her house is just 10 minutes away from my house. Is just her voice, her hugs and her smile that I'll miss. I stopped staying at her place so often when I was in Form 5. Can you guys imagine? From full moon till 17 years old.....
There are so many things I can't take back, and I never got a chance to say goodbye. Everything just happened too fast. I didn't call her her as often as I should, visit her as often as I should.... but I hope she knows that I loved her..
People are coming to me and telling me that Nanny was the nicest person and didn't have a mean bone in her body. This is true. As we were setting up for services and looking for her solo pictures, I noticed how odd the solo pictures of her looked. My nanny looked more like herself surrounded by pictures of her family, for this is how she defined her life.
You know they say," A mother holds their child's hand for a short time yet their hearts forever. I love you and will miss you more as times goes on.
Love you always,
Mei...
I would like to tell you little bit about my relationship with my nanny whom I loved more than anyone on this Earth. But first of all, her physical beauty. She was a true lady and carried herself with grace. Her sweet smile and gentle touch is the memory that I have imbedded in my mind. She was always there for me when I needed her. I used to run to her and sleepover at her place when I had a fight with my parents or I'm sad. She was my best listener and I used to call her Mama when I was really young. I still remember dad said that I have to get good grades in order to stay over at Nanny's place during school break. I cried every time I have to leave her house and get back to school even though her house is just 10 minutes away from my house. Is just her voice, her hugs and her smile that I'll miss. I stopped staying at her place so often when I was in Form 5. Can you guys imagine? From full moon till 17 years old.....
There are so many things I can't take back, and I never got a chance to say goodbye. Everything just happened too fast. I didn't call her her as often as I should, visit her as often as I should.... but I hope she knows that I loved her..
People are coming to me and telling me that Nanny was the nicest person and didn't have a mean bone in her body. This is true. As we were setting up for services and looking for her solo pictures, I noticed how odd the solo pictures of her looked. My nanny looked more like herself surrounded by pictures of her family, for this is how she defined her life.
You know they say," A mother holds their child's hand for a short time yet their hearts forever. I love you and will miss you more as times goes on.
Love you always,
Mei...
02 January, 2009
01 January, 2009
Looking Back... 2008
What I have gone through in the last 8 months has been crazy and painful! And I couldn't have made it through it all without the amazing support and love of my friends and colleagues. I wouldn't be where I am now if it weren't for all of you. You really find out who loves you when you need them the most.
First~ My boss, Dennis Thean! Wow, what can I say about him? He's amazing. He has taught me many things and many of them I have learned through watching him. I have learned determination, dignity and strength. He has shown me that I have to pull myself up by my bootstraps. He has listened to me and given me so much advice. He has taught me how to handle tough situations with grace and dignity.
Steph~ I can't believe that we went through all of this together. What we went through only made us closer and our bond stronger. Thanks for being my friend and one of my protectors. Thanks for making me laugh through all my tears. You've been there when I needed you. You told me the truth and didn't judge me when I made my decision and you still stood by my side. You comforted me when I told you everything. You were a shoulder to cry on. You told me that I was strong. You told me that I deserved better! That means a lot to me...
Joanne, Fiona & Louisa~ Thanks for all the laughs. Thanks for the nights out, thanks for the comfort and the listening. Thanks for telling me that everything was going to be okay. Love the coffee and meringue session with you guys! =)
Uncle Patrick, Kris, Louis~ Thanks for listening to me. Thanks for all the fabulous advice. I can't even being to try and count how many times you have listened to me. Thanks for all the wonderful words and support and love.
Macy~ Thanks for being understanding and thanks for bearing with my tight schedule, my disorganization and clumsiness!
It was the most very painful experience I ever had. Thanks for telling me that we can made lemonade out of the lemon given!
Your supports and trust meant a lot to me...
Dennis L~ Heehee... Well, thanks for cracking stupid jokes... they ease my pain and worries.. at least for that moment!
And thanks to anyone else that I did not name. There have been so many people that have loved and supported me. It's hard to name everyone! I'll never forget how everyone has touched me, my heart and soul with the love & support Everyone is just simply beautiful.
First~ My boss, Dennis Thean! Wow, what can I say about him? He's amazing. He has taught me many things and many of them I have learned through watching him. I have learned determination, dignity and strength. He has shown me that I have to pull myself up by my bootstraps. He has listened to me and given me so much advice. He has taught me how to handle tough situations with grace and dignity.
Steph~ I can't believe that we went through all of this together. What we went through only made us closer and our bond stronger. Thanks for being my friend and one of my protectors. Thanks for making me laugh through all my tears. You've been there when I needed you. You told me the truth and didn't judge me when I made my decision and you still stood by my side. You comforted me when I told you everything. You were a shoulder to cry on. You told me that I was strong. You told me that I deserved better! That means a lot to me...
Joanne, Fiona & Louisa~ Thanks for all the laughs. Thanks for the nights out, thanks for the comfort and the listening. Thanks for telling me that everything was going to be okay. Love the coffee and meringue session with you guys! =)
Uncle Patrick, Kris, Louis~ Thanks for listening to me. Thanks for all the fabulous advice. I can't even being to try and count how many times you have listened to me. Thanks for all the wonderful words and support and love.
Macy~ Thanks for being understanding and thanks for bearing with my tight schedule, my disorganization and clumsiness!
It was the most very painful experience I ever had. Thanks for telling me that we can made lemonade out of the lemon given!
Your supports and trust meant a lot to me...
Dennis L~ Heehee... Well, thanks for cracking stupid jokes... they ease my pain and worries.. at least for that moment!
And thanks to anyone else that I did not name. There have been so many people that have loved and supported me. It's hard to name everyone! I'll never forget how everyone has touched me, my heart and soul with the love & support Everyone is just simply beautiful.
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